and also how few occasions we had to wear a floor length gown. Or any length gown. Or any gown. (Unless you want count that hospital gown you wore with your with socks while getting a mammogram?)
What did it take for you to see a movie this year, Betamom?
Enough caffeine to want to leave your bed & house recreationally.
Remembering the name of a movie.
Childcare, plus another person with childcare.
Finding your shoes that are not by the front door where you left them because Betateen wore them to school in the rain.
Parking without scraping the side of the van on the edge of the parking lot ramp. (Okay, with scraping.)
A credit card that actually works.
A debit card that works after your credit card is declined.
A friend who will buy your ticket after the debit card is declined.
Popcorn, with butter, because who are you kidding?
Extra salt packets in your pocket, or the whole shaker stolen from the counter and left underneath your seat (possibly next to your lost cellphone.)
A large diet coke that cost nearly the price of the movie and doesn't fit in your armhole so it freezes your crotch.
A bladder that will permit you to sit through enough key points to understand the plot (see diet coke.)
Children who will finish their Mayflower Report (that was due last November but never actually written) without you.
Making it home without peeing your pants because the line at the theatre was too long after the movie got out.
Remembering anything that happened in the movie that you just saw.
Popcorn regret.
If you managed to see a single Oscar Nominated Best Picture this year, give yourself 5 points. If you manage to remember to watch the Oscars, give yourself 3 points. If you manage to pick up the Cheaple magazine that covers the Oscar dresses, give yourself 1 point.
If the best you can pull is a big fat betazero, go back to bed because Simon and Paula and Randy and House and Heidi and Tim are waiting and you may not have any popcorn but the bathroom is around the corner.
