Betamom is Back (& forged her own signature for her unexcused absence, hoping this time to avoid detention)

Oh, Betamoms. 

Sorry to have just slacked off on you for the last year or so.  Two?  Who can say, when we last checked in we were going all Britney on the carseat and feeling sorry for Tomkat.  As if.  How a year can change things.  New shows.  New Paula.  New Tim.  New Tyra.  Fierceness taken to new heights in the comfort of our own Betabed.

Standards were lowered.  The New Hard Times allow Betamom to blend in more easily, as if the dirt of one's jeans (and hair and car and child's hair and teeth and dogs and dogs teeth...) as well as the sharing of clothes with Betateens, can be ascribed to Democratic ideals, Being Green, or the New Poverty.  Ha!

We might want to say, Alphamoms, we told you so.  Our day is finally coming.  The Beach Club Birthday Party is finally out of fashion.  Less is Less which has somehow become Enough, if not More.  But, slackers as we are, we all know the truth.  Sometimes dirt is just dirt.

Certain goals, however, were achieved in the past year hiatus.  All seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer were watched back to back for heightened gaiety.  (That's what the invitation to Cotillion notes, a Cotillion Betagirl will never again be invited to, after Betamom tried to pick her up from the Alpha Country Club wearing Jeans.)  Carpooling to Cotillion "heightens the gaity," did you know that?  So here we are, to heighten the gaiety.

Thanks for all your posts and comments.  In answer to all of you, and in no particular order of importance, we're glad if you're making betamom tshirts because we have no clean laundry.  We're glad if the Betamom Manifesto was quoted in USA Today, though Beta as we are, we didn't realize it until 3 years later, or today.  (And if you even think we are capable of providing that link, you are oh-so-clearly on the wrong site!)   We're going to have to pass on the Wife Swap TV Show offer, even though we found that super rewarding, since you don't have to be an alpha brain to understand the critical relationship between reality television and the Betasphere.

There you go.  All we have to show for the last year is this: we're still here, and apparently you are too.  So let's drink to both of us, even on a school night, even with drip coffee since we no longer can afford a latte, even if two different people did buy us the Starbucks Black Discount Card for our birthday. 

With no excuse and even less remorse but much fondness,

 

Betamom

Comments

[Karen]

I am so happy to see you!!!! Just discovered the concept of Beta Moms and am soooooo glad to find my sisters, finally. FYI, I meet nearly all criteria listed under "you know you're a beta mom if....." and I was laughing to the point of tears. Then I figured out you hadn't blogged since 2007. My own blog hasn't been updated since Nov 2007, so I completely understand. I might be inspired by you to resume blogging. Or I might take the few extra minutes in my day to watch my TiVo shows instead. I'm so glad you're here! I'm sending your blog to every mom I know.

[Betamom]

First of all, in the question Tivo vs. Anything, Betamom always goes with Tivo. Ideallly, fall asleep with the Tivo blaring and your laptop in your bed, pretending to do both and accomplishing neither. That's the Beta way. You'd be surprised how many times you can watch the same episode of House that way before actually knowing how it ends. Yours in understanding the unconditional value of T.V, Betamom