Summer is here and betamom has hardly had a thing to say. Why? Because the summer breeze blew away my angst, or at least the people that cause it. Bye bye, stressful mothers and mean children - summer is not for you. The sun is out, I no longer have to get my tan sprayed on, my kids can play outside, and I have not seen anyone from school. I have not scheduled playdates or made calls to keep in touch. So long, suckers. I will have enough of you in the fall. This is my time right now.
I went to Italy and ate fresh vegetables every day. I swam in the blue Agean Sea. I rode a bike with the kids in a buggy to get ice cream. I ate ice cream too. I gained a few pounds and instead of heading for the gym, I went to the gap outlet and bought bigger shorts. I spent time in the mountains and went to a farmer's market.
I bought cheap jewelry from hippies and remembered that I used to be one. This Betamom used to leave college and follow the Grateful Dead around the western half of the country. I used to be a free and open person. Somewhere towards the end of my second senoir year of college, it happened. Maybe it was reading Atlas Shrugged, maybe it was the fact that my major required alot more library time than your average, say, anthropologie major. Regardless, that's when it began -
I became cynical.
Becoming a mom didn't help. It's wasn't the kids - it was the other mothers. The endless competition, your baby doesn't walk? Mine walked at 9 months. The unsolicited suggestions that nibble away at your self image, your should call my hair color guy - he's the best blonder in LA. The commentary on your house It's nobody's dream house (yes, someone acutally said that) your nanny, kids, school of choice, whatever.
Somewhere between Atlas Shrugged and you ladies picking on me, I became cynical and defensive. I learned enough about politics to run for congress. And it has all led to this ephipany:
I like riding a bike. I like eating vegetables. I like being outside.
In other words: I give up.
So here it is, ladies - my new manifesto. (Yes, Betamom enjoys a manifesto). This summer is going to last all year. When school starts, I am not volunteering for anything. I am not playing social games. I am not going to be on anyone's side. I withdraw. All that time I spent doing those things will be used riding my bike to the beach, going to the farmer's market, taking my kids to the park, and napping. This year I will let my hair be brown, and I will not be wearing a suit to any event. Not even a "wear your suit or go to jail party." I will only hang out with nice people that like me. I will not have anyone mean in my house.
I am sure that in September we will run into each other and you start in on the lastest school scandal. You may be too self involved to notice my faraway gaze. Do I look like I am listening? Rest assured I am not listening to you, but rather to the summer breeze, blowing through the jasmine of my mind.
Peace,
Betamom
